go into a starbucks in NYC and say very loudly into your phone “this movie script is stale and trite! we need some new talent, someone with a fresh outlook” and wait
if you shame girls about their breast size i will push you into traffic
"Who’s flat now?"
whos flat now
this person was 1 second away from not having a 197 thousand note post
"So do you sell drugs?" "No I’m only five"
friend: you speak french?
friend: say something in french!
me: je suis venu ici pour passer un bon moment et je suis honnêtement sentir si attaqué dès maintenant
One day, that toddler will be telling everyone about the time she went one on one with the great one, pattycaking his candy ass.
the rock is a gift